Entertainment

If you are a pure-blood Utarian, read this.
And, if you are interested in funny animal acts, watch this.

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This Tutor

Sometimes his jokes are funny.

Other times, he uses a person as a joking material, which could be funny but hurting at the same time.

He also inclines to segue into his personal stories, which could be informative, entertaining and yet irritating at the same time.

He is a tutor who makes people love-hate him. But yesterday, we got to know one of his big secrets - he is afraid of SOMETHING. We found a weak point which we might use it one day to our advantage. Haha.... just joking. But thanks anyway for showing leniency in marking our midterm paper.

You guys should know who's that tutor... riiiiight?

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Taxi Stories

I guess the red cars are not strangers to us Utarians, right? Especially when classes dismiss at odd hours like 9.30 am, 3.30 pm... OR, when SOME lecturers who are so enthusiastic until they refuse to let us off even when the long hand of the clock points at 12. Those are the times when we MISS the UTAR bus and had to take the cab.


Frequent cab rides promise some "interesting" or "unforgettable" stories. These are my collection of taxi encounters - of which some were told to my best friends. Have fun reading them:

Section A: INDUSTRIAL TRAINING
These happened during our Industrial Training stint. Every evening after work, Francis and I would go to the Taman Jaya LRT station from Sime Darby TC with our friends from Chemistry. Upon arrival, we would board the LRT and alight at Wangsa Maju. Then, we would hitch a ride (sometimes with Jac/Ce-Yan who waited for us at the station) at the LRT station in Wangsa Maju. These were the load of stuffs happened to us:

Anecdote #1

We were walking across and down of the pedestrain bridge (or "sky bridge" as coined and directly translated by ah mok from Chinese) and discussed whether should we take the bus or cab. Then at the designated taxi area was a row of hungry taxis. So, we reached to one of them. Francis opened the front door and "roared" the our destination:

Francis : Wangsa Maju.
Me : (nudge Francis) Oi... Jalan Genting Klang la... we ARE in Wangsa Maju now.
Francis : Oh yahor...
Driver : (Swt~ and smile)


Anecdote #2

From Sime Darby TC
Since we have to leave for work so early in the morning, taxis are rare sights, not to mention the crawling buses. Also, when we try to board a taxi from our workplace back to Tmn Jaya LRT station, taxis doesn't seem to favour that place. So, this gradually translated into one psychological syndrome where Ce-Yan, Francis, Jeffrey, Seng Ru and I acquired - the Taxi-Frenzy Syndrome, or TFS. Whenever we see a taxi - no matter where it is as long as it is willing to go to our destination - we will flag it down. There is once, on the way to the bus stop early in the morning, we tried to flag down a taxi when it is trying to exit Prima Setapak. There is even a time where Francis stopped a taxi right at a T junction near our work place. We and the TFS...

Anecdote #3

One day during this week, I forgot when, it was raining torrentially - not really torrentially but quite heavily la - we were desperately waiting for a taxi. After waiting for god knows how long, a taxi emerged. As it cruised towards the bus stop we were sheltering under, our TFS suddenly kicked in. Under the influence of TFS, we were acting like a pack of hungry, blood-thirsty wolves that hadn't eaten for a week. The meek, innocent taxi continued to cruise on. It was as if the taxi became aware of the beasts-on-the-loose (by that, I mean us la) and it was beginning to cower. It was initially moving on the left lane. But right after it saw us, it took an imperceptible turn to the right. Not obvious, but a gradual turn of the wheels. In moments, about a good 100 meters from us, the taxi had moved into the right lane, the overtaking lane. But since there was no cars to be overtaken, so it was obviously trying to avoid us, the teeth-baring monsters awaiting for an ambush.

But we wasted no time. We waved - our umbrellas, not our claws, uh, I mean hands - frantically at the taxi. But from the driver's point of view, we were like beasts signalling for an all-pronged attack. At first, it stubbornly drove on at the right lane, ignoring us. 90 meters... 80 meters... closing in... Then, we waved even more frantically, akin to the centrifuge speed of 10 krpm (just exaggerating) with our eyes trained on the taxi. Succumbed by our "intimidation", the taxi obediently shifted to the left lane and parked at the bus stop. Wasting no opportunity, we pounced at the vehicle and snapped open the door. We roared... our destination - "Taman Jaya LRT". The driver looked doubtful at first, then he said, " Okay, but 5 bucks to the station."

...........
...........
...........

RM 5 JUST TO THE LRT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! It is barely RM 3.00 for other times and now he charged 66.67% more than normal??? He was clearly MESSING with the ... right guys, sigh. We were TFS affected people after all, RM 5 we would take it as long as we got to the station. In the car, my friends still couldn't give up. They kept bargaining....... and threatening...

Seng Ru: Cannot 3 ringgit meh?

Driver : No. RM 5 means RM 5.

Seng Ru: If like that we take the taxi behind us lo...

(Actually, there was no taxi behind us. There was one when we were getting in the taxi but it drove past us long ago)

Driver : Okok, I drop you guys here and you get in the taxi behind.

(It was raining la, brahther..., really want to drop us meh...)

Then we all laughed. But Seng Ru still wouldn't give up.

Seng Ru: Aiyo, we all very poor one la.

Driver : (Sarcastically) Oh, really? Then I don't take any money from you, ok?

We laughed again.

Seng Ru + Jeffrey + Francis: REALLY ah?

Driver : ......

Then Seng Ru played the trump card ......

Seng Ru: We all earn RM 200 per month only la.

(The driver knew we were working since we all wore formal)

Driver : RM 200? Really ah? Want to lie also lie better la... RM 200... haha... OK la. I drop you on the road and you all no need to pay, ok?

Jeffrey : Really one. You don't believe meh? I show you the offer letter lo...

Driver : Show la...

Jeffrey : Wait ah... (opening bag) Ei, left at home leh...

Driver : ...... I drop you all here and you all no need to pay la...

He mentioned this many times already...

Seng Ru: We really earn RM 200 leh... We so poor until nasi also cannot buy, everyday eat roti only.

Driver : Really so poor ah? Ok la. Let me check your wallet. If you don't have any money on you then I take you all for free.

We all laughed.

Seng Ru: We really poor one leh...

Driver : Rm 5. I don't care. Talk some more and I drop you here.

He said it again... The 3rd time...

Seng Ru to us:
等一下我们差不多要到的时候再叫他降价。然后他一定又讲“在这里放我们又不收钱”来威胁我们的.反正我们都要到了，最多走过去，又不用给taxi钱。

(Translate: Later when we are about to arrive, we try to ask him to decrease the price again. He will sure to threaten us by saying "I will drop you all here and you all no need to pay". Since by then our destination is in walking distance, we by all means get down from the cab and walk without paying for the cab.)

Then we all laughed. The driver was an Indian by the way.

I thought they were joking but they were not. When we were in the vicinity of the station's bus stop, they really acted that scene about asking the driver to let us pay less and hoped that the driver would be so foolish enough to let us off the road without pay.

Of course the driver wasn't stupid. I still paid RM 5 (since I was sitting at the front seat) on their behalf. Since I wasn't bugging the driver for the price haggle, the driver spoke nicely to me while asking for the pay and complained to me about my friend's monkey-ness. I just smiled off. God, what a drive... After the waste of saliva and energy for the price, we still ended up paying RM 1.50 each. So much for the drama. Luckily I didn't join in and waste my leftover energy after the exhausting work. Haha...

Anecdote #4

This one is not really a taxi story but it's kinda related.

One night, Francis and I were late for home and we hurried out of the cab. When I walked a good distance, I realized my wallet was missing. It fell in the cab. After some futile attempts, I was resorted to reporting to the police. Francis accompanied me to the Jln Genting Klang Police Station one evening. When we walked in, the atmosphere was formal and I was figuring how to start the conversation with the police woman on-duty. Before that happened, Francis blurted out a very, how should I say, inappropriate sentence:

Francis : Err, mana tandas?
Me and the policewoman: (surprised, after all, what were the chances of requesting for toilet in the police station?)
Policewoman: This officer (gesturing to a burly policeman) will escort you.
Me : Francis... I salute you la...

Anecdote #5

When we hitched a cab and arrived at Public Bank at one of the evenings after work, Francis used his leg to shut the cab door since his hands were occupied with notes and files. Before we could realize anything, the taxi driver exited from the cab and yelled at us, erm, I mean at Francis.

Driver: Oi, what do you mean by closing the door using your legs, har? You think ........

The rest of the scolding wasn't audible due to the noisy traffic. Jac and I - poor Francis....

Never expect the taxi driver to show such HUGE reaction.

Section B: LESSON DAYS

Anecdote #1
One day, I was taking a cab along with siew ting, hooi yee and James the Big Cannon.

James: (to driver) Plaza Prima Setapak.
Me: James, tell the driver to use PV10 route.
James: (to driver) Pergi itu PV10 sana...
Driver: (in Chinese) I am a Chinese la...
Me, ting and hooi yee was, ahahahahahaha-ing. The driver was sooo Chinese la, how come James couldn't tell?
That's not the end yet. When we arrived...

Me: (to driver, in Chinese) Stop at Station One...
James: (repeated after me, in MALAY) Berhenti di Station One...
Driver: (shook his head in disappointment)
Me+Siew Ting+Hooi Yee = laughing our heads off until stomach cramped... James, oh James... Dah kata dia tu Cina, and I also spoke in Chinese to the driver already and YET, he still spoke the wrong language.

ZADAO...

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Memories

Photo credits to Wai Kit.

This brings back memories, sweet and sour alike. I was a prefect with the post of Team Leader, right under the top 3 division heads of the Operation Wing. Frankly, our prefect team is more like a combat battalion. We have special squads that take care of certain areas of the school, special units for spying, we even do marching, we have blazers, like the blue coat shown in the pic, with the stars and badges to indicate ranking, we also have patrolling team and a special subforce called the Secretariat Department which deals with matters like students' merit-demerit, files of offenses and rules violations etc. We also do subcontracted jobs from teachers and coordinate events like sports day, teacher's day etc. We are even divided into Operational and Core Organization. Operational is for duty and "field work" while the latter is dealing with paper work. The Operation wing divided in military style - Alpha, Bravo and Charlie Divisions, with Team Leaders accountable to them. Each Team Leader has 2 Squads led by a Squad Leader. Sounds like an army right? Hahaha...

Really treasure those days. I will never forget the days when we were on-call for duty even in the middle of a class. Putting on the blazer, marching out in files, fuiyoh, that experience is sooo one and only. I know many of my friends in Utar HATES prefects. But being a prefect teaches me a lot in time management, manpower management, behavioural analysis and "psycho-wars".

Once a prefect, always a prefect. That, is also portrayed in me when I am the course rep of my course.


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My Funny Mum

Everyone's mother has their own unique side, besides the usual strict, demanding and "nagging" (no offense, mothers) side. My mother has a funny side. Let's look at some examples:

Scenario #1:
Mum : minjin (this is how my mum, dad and Joanne Hew call me), you are doing homework upstairs ah?
Me : Yeaaahhhhhh..... (dragging tone)
Mum : It is very hot upstairs. Remember to switch on the hall in the ventilation fan ah!
Me : Okaaayyy.... uh WHAT?! Hall in the ventilation fan?!
Mum : Yea, ei, no, I mean ventilation fan in the hall...
Me : Swt~

Scenario #2:
While driving out of Jusco in my hometown after paying the parking ticket at the automated ticket payment terminal, we came to the exit point where an automated lift arm barrier was recently installed)

Figure 1: This is a lift arm barrier, in case you didn't know.

Mum : Where's the receipt? (the receipt, as usual, is dispensed when you've paid the ticket at the terminal)
Me : Nah... over here.
Mum : (slotting the receipt into the machine and waits for the automated lift arm barrier to be lifted)

Then the arm lifted. BUT mum still wouldn't drive.
Me : Erm, mi ah, why don't you drive through ah?
Mum : Har? I am waiting for the receipt ah.
Me : Aiyoooo... after you slot in the parking receipt then you can go liao. What's the point for the machine to accept the receipt and REGENERATE a new one?! Swt~
Mum : Ei yahor...

Scenario #3
It was last year's Earth Hour night and the switch-off was taking place. I rang my mum up to check out whether she was echoing the call of Earth Hour to switch off the electricity.

Me : Mi ah, today Earth Hour oh. You know that right?
Mum : Yea.
Me : My place is all dark adi. Yours leh?
Mum : Our place ah, I dunno why the lights still on woh...
Me : (Confused) Huh, then switch off la.
Mum : (More confused than me) No woh, the authority hasn't switch off the lights yet.
Me : Swt... you have to switch off the lights YOURSELF la... The authority so free to switch off your lights meh. Haha....
Mum : Ya meh. Hahahahaha.... true oso hor.

This year's Earth Hour:

Me : Mi ah, this time you OFF the lights yourself adi hor?
Mum : Haha, yea la. Kena once still don't remember meh...

Yup, that's my mum, people.

So what's your mum like when she's not the usual way?

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