Twisted Classics: The Emperor's New Clothes

The 2 con men, one tall and slender while the other portly and short, were striding towards the castle.

"From what I've gathered, this king is foolish and vain," adjusting his hat, the tall guy spoke hoarsely.

"Not to mention filthily wealthy," the short guy said. There is a slight hint of disgust in his tone but mostly eagerness, or actually greediness.

"That smells like a goldmine, don't you think, Fred?" the tall guy said, with a grin.

The short guy, or Fred, smiled as he replied, "Don't count your chicks before they hatch, Ben. But profit is almost guaranteed. Let's hope the rumours about the king are true."

"Now we may be tailors," Ben said as he looked up. "After we have performed our magic, we will be rich!"

Fred wiped the perspiration off his forehead and said nothing. What else needed to be said? He could feel the money already. We will be going home rich, Fred murmured to himself.

* * *

"Your Majesty, these are the 2 young lads I mentioned earlier." one of the King's righthand man reported formally.

Ben cleared his throat and said, "Your Majesty, we have a..."

"Just a minute. Let me complete this puzzle and I will be ready," the King said as he raised his hand to stop Ben.

The 2 men exchanged glances and shrugged. After 5 minutes, the King was still playing. 10... 20... Finally, about half an hour later, the King exclaimed in satisfaction, "Done! Phew, that was tough. Rolland, accompany me to the dance performance." The King gestured his righthand man to go over.

"Er, your Majesty, the two lads here..."

"Oh, how silly of me, I've forgotten about you guys," the King said as he slapped his forehead.

"Obviously utterly silly, you moron. We have been standing in front of you like wood stumps for half an hour and yet you could forget about our presence." Ben muttered under his breath.

"What did you just say?" the King asked.

"Oh, nothing."

Fred eyed at Ben. Ben kept quiet thence.

"I must be hearing things. Nevermind, must be the old age," the King laughed it off, totally unsuspicious. "So what business do you have here?"

"We have something valuable for you, your Majesty," Fred said.

"Valuable? How so? Rare gems and golden sculptures?"

"No. Something more... exotic," Fred said, accenting on the last word deliberately.

The King frowned. "Exotic, you say. Care to elaborate?"

"A rare form of textile has come to our possession, your Majesty," Fred said slowly, letting each word sank into the King's mind. "It is woven from the silk spun by the elusive Mist Spiders. They are found on the peaks of the Alps."

The King leaned forward and apparently, he found whatever the man was saying very intriguing. "Go on."

Fred continued, "The silk is, as the spider's name implies, misty in nature. Fabrics that are made from such silk are hence very unique. They could only be seen if a person is intelligent."

"Fascinating. Well, I am an intelligent man myself. Donning such apparel will accentuate my ingenuity."

Ben and Fred tried very hard not to laugh at this remark.

"There will be a nationwide celebration by next week, can you manage to make 2 sets of suits using that silk by then?"

"Definitely, your Majesty, definitely."

"Good. I will pay you handsomely."

That was what the 2 con men wanted to hear.

* * *

"Where is the new suit?" the King demanded.

"Here, your Majesty." The 2 men showed the King an empty rack.

"Did you see them, your Majesty? They are magnificent, aren't they?" Fred said.

The King did not respond immediately. He was appalled. He recalled the condition to be able to see the suit. Of course, he couldn't admit he saw nothing at all. That would be humiliating, wouldn't it?

The King faked a smile. "Amazing. I will keep them in a locked chest until the great celebration. Imagine how the crowd would react." The King stopped, as if he was really picturing the scene where his people marvelled at the piece of art. "Well done, you two. After the celebration, you will be paid as promised."

* * *

"My head..." the King tried to get down from his bed."Too much liquor, I think."

"Don't strain yourself. Are you ill?" the Queen asked worryingly. She helped the King to lie back on his bed and positioned his down-feathered pillow. Satisfied, she looked at her husband, waiting for his reply.

"Just feeling a little bit light-headed and feverish," the King managed a smile but his facial expression quickly reverted to agony, betraying his pain.

"You have to stay in bed then."

"I can't. Today is the grand celebration. I have also promised the people to show them the new clothes. I cannot stay bed-ridden."

"No, you stay on the bed, I will do the inauguration and the rest. Until you are feeling better, you are to remain on this very bed." the Queen insisted, in a stern tone.

The King knew it was wise not to argue. He didn't have the strength anyway. Hence, he said resignedly, "Fine. You take care of the celebration. Make sure the people see the suits. They yearned to see it. The suits are in the locked chest under the bed."

"What is so special about the suits? You wouldn't tell me." the Queen questioned with slight indignation while fumbling beneath the bed. She drew out a long box. She held the box in her arms.

"It is a surprise. I know you like surprises." The King stretched his hands, patted the box and smile.

The Queen sighed. Her ever so foolish husband. She loved him nevertheless.

"Very well, you have my word. I will get the 2 tailors." the Queen said as she caressed his head.

* * *

"What?" The 2 men exclaimed in unison.

"The King is ill. He needs someone to parade the suits you made. Since the King cannot wear it himself, I guess you two can do the honour of donning them. Is there a problem?"

"Yes, I mean... I mean... no..." Ben stammered.

"Your Highness, we are lowly people and we really shouldn't wear these tunics. It will be a disgrace to..." Fred tried to argue, later to find his excuse in vain.

"It is by the King's order that these suits are to be paraded," the Queen interrupted. "It is an honourable task by letting you two doing it, how could it be a disgrace? Come, we have no time to waste. The people are waiting. Get into the fitting room. I have an army protecting that room while you two get to change. Now hurry."

The 2 men paled.

"Here are the suits," the Queen passed them the unlocked chest. "Put on an overall after you've donned the suit. Take off the overalls only when I ask you to do so in front of the people. Just as an element of surprise." the Queen said with a wink.

Somewhere deep in their heart, they thought the Queen might know of their plot and tried to embarrass them, making them the laughingstock of mankind. But the Queen, they were told, was kept in the dark by the King about the nature of the "intelligent suits". They tried not to let anyone else knew of their little con. They had convinced the King to make this a nationwide surprise. So, it had been a secret between the King and themselves. Or so, they hoped.

With pallid faces, they took the "invisible clothes" and overalls as they entered the fitting room. They knew they were done for.

They thought of escaping or at least sneaking out some clothes to pretend them to be the new suits. But with the army escorts and watchful guards, their chances were effectively zero.

* * *

"Open the door, it's time." an usher knocked at the door.

The door opened, ever so slowly. 2 men, clad in a black overall, stepped out and walked onto the stage. Beneath the overalls, would be a shame of their life.

"My beloved people, as the King has promised, you will witness the mysterious suit - now behold!" the Queen motioned the 2 men to remove their overalls as she announced to the curious crowd.

The 2 men, shivering beneath the overalls, still refused to divest their cloak.

The Queen urged them to reveal the suit. "What's wrong? Take off the overalls and show them the suits."

The 2 men exchanged glances. Then, they closed their eyes. In their heart, it was a mixture of regret, anger and shame. They didn't expect it to turn out this way. Not at all. Still with their eyes closed, they reached out for their overalls. They should have worked out a contingency plan or something. Too late for remorse anyway. With trembling fingers, they grabbed onto the overalls for a second too long. Then, they tugged it.

It was dead silence at first. The "obscene exhibition" took awhile to register in the people's mind. Then the ladies screamed and it was all chaos.

The Queen was simply just too horrified to speak. She closed her eyes and commanded the troops to take the con men down to the dungeon.

She wondered how her husband, her foolish husband, would react upon hearing this unexpected turn of events.

Yes, he was right, she indeed loved surprises. But nothing like this. It wasn't a surprise, not even remotely so. It's a downright disgrace. She shook her head and sighed deeply.

The "naked duo" was never heard of again. This matter was never to be raised anytime in the future.

Composed by,

Don't Break It

It only takes one ill-spoken word to rupture a friendship.

Sometimes, one wrong gesture ruins everything.

Similarly, it only takes one step backwards to keep the friendship bond intact.

Don't act foolishly just for your own benefit at the expense of friendship. Now, you might get what you want. In the long run, you will lose close friends.

Friendship is like a wooden plank: once it is broken, yes, it could be mended with nails and glue but it will never be as strong as before.

Composed by,

Just take a bite

Don't dislike a person.

Given time, you will experience wonderfulness you never had before with him/her.

It's just like cheese and durian:

Now you may abhor the stench but it only takes an audacious bite to land yourself in wonderland.

Composed by,

Clutch for Support

Most of the time, all we need is to hold on to

something,

or someone,

to calm the raging seas deep within ourselves.

Composed by,

Memoirs in Kampar

I have only one thing to say about me being in Kampar: No regrets.

Prior to coming to this rustic town, I had debated inwardly whether heading to Kampar was the right thing to do. One of the issues that resulted me to have reservations was the payment of double rental - Setapak and Kampar. But I know I would regret one day for not being part of the Kampar campus while I had a chance to do so. I made up my mind and I am glad I didn't steer away.

Kampar is an eye-opener in its own right:

I did things I never did back in Setapak campus - singing like a nutcase with WY and Ric in the lab; fooling around in the lab; gossiping fervently in the lab etc.

I see things that I never had while in Setapak - an unbelievably tall and ominously huge Mimosa sp. (visit biotech0507.blogspot.com for the "disturbing pictures"); sceneries that are not found in KL etc.

I met people I thought I would never see again - ex-classmates; ex-schoolmates etc.

I endured the capricious weather which is EXACTLY the same as women's whim/mood - trust me, weather forecast is downright futile in Kampar: you can NEVER, EVER guess the weather here correctly. Even it is goddamned cloudy, it won't rain a droplet. When it is sultry hot as if the sun is just literally on top of your head/hair, rain will pour like the bocor-ed Indah Water truck.

Conclusion: Studying in Kampar is akin to chewing on loads of cili padi while reclining on an Osim chair - painstaking effort in a soothing environment.

Composed by,

Life vs Ghost Trappers (FB)

Many of us refuse to dwell on chances. We hate playing with probability, unless it is the 90% to 100% rate that we are talking about. Of course, nothing much in life falls within that sanctuary.

Nevertheless, we still try to take our chances. Even if we know there is going to be a risk of failure, we charge on. All the time, we did not realize it until we hit the wall of fiasco/failure.

That is true. However, this is true too: we know we are betting or risking something in our life in every decision we make. But we try to make our chances of winning high. There is no definite answers or one-best-choice when it comes to decision making. Life is just not meant to be an MCQ paper. It has opinion-based, open-ended questions galore. If you think your answer is right, then live on with it, along with the consequences that come in a package.

So why compare our all-too-many-decisions-to-make-and-dunno-which-to-choose life to Ghost Trappers (GT)?

Go become an agent/player of GT and find out [here] for more vivid experience.

GT is all about taking chances and enhancing the variables that affects the final outcome in order to get a high probability of success. Choosing the right whisky, investing in the approprate trapping mechanism and magic circle, sealing the right contract and bringing along the most suitable and adorable companion are among the decisions to make in order to catch ghosts all the time.

GT is not a game where the player directly interacts with other players. Cooperation does exists between players but it is not played against each other (except for friendly challenges). In other words, GT is a game between you, the player, and the odds/probability of catching ghosts. You have to deal with losses, misses and dilemmas while waiting for success. It is a game between you and chances. But it is not all that random: you can enhance your chances of winning by making the right choices. That, is life. Fate and chances might control our lives, I do not agree or disagree that. But what I know is - if you do not try to make the decisions yourself in order to raise the bar of probability to a satisfactory par, but instead, leaving it to the laps of God or fate itself, then you are not living your own life, much less to the fullest.

GT reveals many desires of humans. One of them is to win, by challenging yourself to take risk and chances.

Oh, by the way, even if you have the best set up for GT, you still suffer losses. The right choice sometimes also has flaws. Nothing is infallible. Yeah, that's life.

Composed by,

Ramble

It was the first Mid-Autumn celebration with my family for 3 years. Yes, 3 solid years. This year, we hung more lanterns than the past and I am not exaggerating, more than 50 lanterns were dangling on tree branches of my house. What a beautiful sight to behold. Neighbours who brought their kid for a lantern-lit stroll gasped and admired at our starlit garden. For those who had seen my house, they should know it is a rainforest - trees galores and bespangled with myriads of flowers. When I came back home, I realized more plant species had been added into the Leong's collection. You can find fruits, veges, flowers and variegated plants in our tiny sanctuary. And these verdant piece of art was adorned with the multicoloured lanterns. It has been a long time and I yearned for it a lot.

One funny anecdote for you: My aunt was taking her beloved SLR to shoot the pristine, white full moon. When she set her precious cam on the tripod, suddenly the moon was hidden away behind the thicket of clouds. We joked that the moon was either furious or shy to face the lens. But when my aunt kept her cam, the moon revealed itself. At first, we thought it was mere coincidence. But when my aunt set the cam again, yeah, you guessed it, the moon was again hidden. What a cheeky fella...

We had mooncakes - durian, tiramisu, chocolate+cheese, and the normal flavours - and peanuts with jasmine tea. A nice night... until the heaven open the water tap. It drizzled, then it poured like a salivating dog that hasn't eaten for days.

All these memorable scenes but no photos. What a regret. Never mind, just picture it yourself.

Now, about the life in Kampar. It is okay and much peaceful. Perhaps it is because the new semester has not commenced. It might be a whole new sight, as warned by my brother. They said Kampar is more of a never-sleep city (or town?). Well, I will see how true does the rumour hold in 3 weeks time.

The 4 of us had a huge lab and also quite sufficient apparatus. We had ONE MICROPIPETTE SET FOR THE EACH OF US. WOOHOO! In a way, we are lucky to have a lab all to ourselves. The first day was okay. Not too bad. Had a cycling-in-the-rain experience while heading for dinner. Not bad too. Lol.

For Zhi Xian and I, we were taken by Dr Choo and our "co-supervisor" to select a few sites near the Utar campus for a suitable sample collecting sites. We need soil samples, you see. Don't ask why, you wouldn't understand anyway. Haha. During this little field trip, we got to witness a HUGE Mimosa species. Usually, what we see is the tiny Mimosa pudica. But the ones we witnessed, it a TREE, actually, more like a shrub. But who cares? It is BIG. And yes, the leaves closed up upon touch but at a much slower speed. I think its name is Mimosa pigra. The thorns are much sharper and harder.

Anyway, let's pray our FYP goes on well. Wish my friends the same. All the best.

Sigh. Now, every night before I sleep, I always have this thought: Our 3-year course is going to end soon. Real soon. I am going to miss my friends soooooo much. What to do? It is going to be a sad, sad parting again. David Archuleta's "Touch My Hand" is ringing in my head along with Linkin Park's "Leave Out All the Rest".

People, I MISS YOU GUYS...

Composed by,

Gratitude - To My Parents

Finally, That Tutor has spoken on something that make sense today despite his endless stories that either attempt to humiliate others or resenting the rest. He told us a story about gratitude which we seldom express to our parents. Though it is a bit of a generalisation but yeah, most of us take our parents for granted.

I don't. Every ringgit I spend I think about the work my father has gone through. Every sen I expend it reminds me of the effort my mum put into raising me up. I strive to get scholarships. I work hard in my studies. It's not because of wanting to be the top in class. The diligence and unyielding spirit that grow by me is mostly to reciprocate my parents' silent sacrifice. Every time I ask my parents to bank in money for me, the first feeling that surfaces in my core is guilt. But every time when my parents say, "Don't worry about the money. We will manage it. You just do what you think is best for you. And don't cut down on your meals", I know they will try to be thrift just for me and my bros. Every time I go back home, they let me and my bros have the good meals while they refuse to dig in. "It's okay, we can have it anytime we want but you guys only come back once in a while.", they say. But I know they won't have it anytime. Not at all.

Since young I seldom, almost never, bug my parents to buy me anything except for books. My cellphone is a hand-me-down which is still the conventional type. Nothing on me or with me is other than necessary. Even laptops and mp3 players are gifts from relatives. I know money doesn't come by easily.

It hurts just to ask for a hundred bucks. Hence, I am waiting for the day when I can earn enough to take my parents for vacations.

Pa, Mi, just give me a few more years. Just a few more years. This promise is made and sealed. Your son will not renege.

Composed by,

Entertainment

If you are a pure-blood Utarian, read this.
And, if you are interested in funny animal acts, watch this.

Composed by,

This Tutor

Sometimes his jokes are funny.

Other times, he uses a person as a joking material, which could be funny but hurting at the same time.

He also inclines to segue into his personal stories, which could be informative, entertaining and yet irritating at the same time.

He is a tutor who makes people love-hate him. But yesterday, we got to know one of his big secrets - he is afraid of SOMETHING. We found a weak point which we might use it one day to our advantage. Haha.... just joking. But thanks anyway for showing leniency in marking our midterm paper.

You guys should know who's that tutor... riiiiight?

Composed by,

Taxi Stories

I guess the red cars are not strangers to us Utarians, right? Especially when classes dismiss at odd hours like 9.30 am, 3.30 pm... OR, when SOME lecturers who are so enthusiastic until they refuse to let us off even when the long hand of the clock points at 12. Those are the times when we MISS the UTAR bus and had to take the cab.


Frequent cab rides promise some "interesting" or "unforgettable" stories. These are my collection of taxi encounters - of which some were told to my best friends. Have fun reading them:

Section A: INDUSTRIAL TRAINING
These happened during our Industrial Training stint. Every evening after work, Francis and I would go to the Taman Jaya LRT station from Sime Darby TC with our friends from Chemistry. Upon arrival, we would board the LRT and alight at Wangsa Maju. Then, we would hitch a ride (sometimes with Jac/Ce-Yan who waited for us at the station) at the LRT station in Wangsa Maju. These were the load of stuffs happened to us:

Anecdote #1

We were walking across and down of the pedestrain bridge (or "sky bridge" as coined and directly translated by ah mok from Chinese) and discussed whether should we take the bus or cab. Then at the designated taxi area was a row of hungry taxis. So, we reached to one of them. Francis opened the front door and "roared" the our destination:

Francis : Wangsa Maju.
Me : (nudge Francis) Oi... Jalan Genting Klang la... we ARE in Wangsa Maju now.
Francis : Oh yahor...
Driver : (Swt~ and smile)


Anecdote #2

From Sime Darby TC
Since we have to leave for work so early in the morning, taxis are rare sights, not to mention the crawling buses. Also, when we try to board a taxi from our workplace back to Tmn Jaya LRT station, taxis doesn't seem to favour that place. So, this gradually translated into one psychological syndrome where Ce-Yan, Francis, Jeffrey, Seng Ru and I acquired - the Taxi-Frenzy Syndrome, or TFS. Whenever we see a taxi - no matter where it is as long as it is willing to go to our destination - we will flag it down. There is once, on the way to the bus stop early in the morning, we tried to flag down a taxi when it is trying to exit Prima Setapak. There is even a time where Francis stopped a taxi right at a T junction near our work place. We and the TFS...

Anecdote #3

One day during this week, I forgot when, it was raining torrentially - not really torrentially but quite heavily la - we were desperately waiting for a taxi. After waiting for god knows how long, a taxi emerged. As it cruised towards the bus stop we were sheltering under, our TFS suddenly kicked in. Under the influence of TFS, we were acting like a pack of hungry, blood-thirsty wolves that hadn't eaten for a week. The meek, innocent taxi continued to cruise on. It was as if the taxi became aware of the beasts-on-the-loose (by that, I mean us la) and it was beginning to cower. It was initially moving on the left lane. But right after it saw us, it took an imperceptible turn to the right. Not obvious, but a gradual turn of the wheels. In moments, about a good 100 meters from us, the taxi had moved into the right lane, the overtaking lane. But since there was no cars to be overtaken, so it was obviously trying to avoid us, the teeth-baring monsters awaiting for an ambush.

But we wasted no time. We waved - our umbrellas, not our claws, uh, I mean hands - frantically at the taxi. But from the driver's point of view, we were like beasts signalling for an all-pronged attack. At first, it stubbornly drove on at the right lane, ignoring us. 90 meters... 80 meters... closing in... Then, we waved even more frantically, akin to the centrifuge speed of 10 krpm (just exaggerating) with our eyes trained on the taxi. Succumbed by our "intimidation", the taxi obediently shifted to the left lane and parked at the bus stop. Wasting no opportunity, we pounced at the vehicle and snapped open the door. We roared... our destination - "Taman Jaya LRT". The driver looked doubtful at first, then he said, " Okay, but 5 bucks to the station."

...........
...........
...........

RM 5 JUST TO THE LRT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! It is barely RM 3.00 for other times and now he charged 66.67% more than normal??? He was clearly MESSING with the ... right guys, sigh. We were TFS affected people after all, RM 5 we would take it as long as we got to the station. In the car, my friends still couldn't give up. They kept bargaining....... and threatening...

Seng Ru: Cannot 3 ringgit meh?

Driver : No. RM 5 means RM 5.

Seng Ru: If like that we take the taxi behind us lo...

(Actually, there was no taxi behind us. There was one when we were getting in the taxi but it drove past us long ago)

Driver : Okok, I drop you guys here and you get in the taxi behind.

(It was raining la, brahther..., really want to drop us meh...)

Then we all laughed. But Seng Ru still wouldn't give up.

Seng Ru: Aiyo, we all very poor one la.

Driver : (Sarcastically) Oh, really? Then I don't take any money from you, ok?

We laughed again.

Seng Ru + Jeffrey + Francis: REALLY ah?

Driver : ......

Then Seng Ru played the trump card ......

Seng Ru: We all earn RM 200 per month only la.

(The driver knew we were working since we all wore formal)

Driver : RM 200? Really ah? Want to lie also lie better la... RM 200... haha... OK la. I drop you on the road and you all no need to pay, ok?

Jeffrey : Really one. You don't believe meh? I show you the offer letter lo...

Driver : Show la...

Jeffrey : Wait ah... (opening bag) Ei, left at home leh...

Driver : ...... I drop you all here and you all no need to pay la...

He mentioned this many times already...

Seng Ru: We really earn RM 200 leh... We so poor until nasi also cannot buy, everyday eat roti only.

Driver : Really so poor ah? Ok la. Let me check your wallet. If you don't have any money on you then I take you all for free.

We all laughed.

Seng Ru: We really poor one leh...

Driver : Rm 5. I don't care. Talk some more and I drop you here.

He said it again... The 3rd time...

Seng Ru to us:
等一下我们差不多要到的时候再叫他降价。然后他一定又讲“在这里放我们又不收钱”来威胁我们的.反正我们都要到了，最多走过去，又不用给taxi钱。

(Translate: Later when we are about to arrive, we try to ask him to decrease the price again. He will sure to threaten us by saying "I will drop you all here and you all no need to pay". Since by then our destination is in walking distance, we by all means get down from the cab and walk without paying for the cab.)

Then we all laughed. The driver was an Indian by the way.

I thought they were joking but they were not. When we were in the vicinity of the station's bus stop, they really acted that scene about asking the driver to let us pay less and hoped that the driver would be so foolish enough to let us off the road without pay.

Of course the driver wasn't stupid. I still paid RM 5 (since I was sitting at the front seat) on their behalf. Since I wasn't bugging the driver for the price haggle, the driver spoke nicely to me while asking for the pay and complained to me about my friend's monkey-ness. I just smiled off. God, what a drive... After the waste of saliva and energy for the price, we still ended up paying RM 1.50 each. So much for the drama. Luckily I didn't join in and waste my leftover energy after the exhausting work. Haha...

Anecdote #4

This one is not really a taxi story but it's kinda related.

One night, Francis and I were late for home and we hurried out of the cab. When I walked a good distance, I realized my wallet was missing. It fell in the cab. After some futile attempts, I was resorted to reporting to the police. Francis accompanied me to the Jln Genting Klang Police Station one evening. When we walked in, the atmosphere was formal and I was figuring how to start the conversation with the police woman on-duty. Before that happened, Francis blurted out a very, how should I say, inappropriate sentence:

Francis : Err, mana tandas?
Me and the policewoman: (surprised, after all, what were the chances of requesting for toilet in the police station?)
Policewoman: This officer (gesturing to a burly policeman) will escort you.
Me : Francis... I salute you la...

Anecdote #5

When we hitched a cab and arrived at Public Bank at one of the evenings after work, Francis used his leg to shut the cab door since his hands were occupied with notes and files. Before we could realize anything, the taxi driver exited from the cab and yelled at us, erm, I mean at Francis.

Driver: Oi, what do you mean by closing the door using your legs, har? You think ........

The rest of the scolding wasn't audible due to the noisy traffic. Jac and I - poor Francis....

Never expect the taxi driver to show such HUGE reaction.

Section B: LESSON DAYS

Anecdote #1
One day, I was taking a cab along with siew ting, hooi yee and James the Big Cannon.

James: (to driver) Plaza Prima Setapak.
Me: James, tell the driver to use PV10 route.
James: (to driver) Pergi itu PV10 sana...
Driver: (in Chinese) I am a Chinese la...
Me, ting and hooi yee was, ahahahahahaha-ing. The driver was sooo Chinese la, how come James couldn't tell?
That's not the end yet. When we arrived...

Me: (to driver, in Chinese) Stop at Station One...
James: (repeated after me, in MALAY) Berhenti di Station One...
Driver: (shook his head in disappointment)
Me+Siew Ting+Hooi Yee = laughing our heads off until stomach cramped... James, oh James... Dah kata dia tu Cina, and I also spoke in Chinese to the driver already and YET, he still spoke the wrong language.

ZADAO...

Composed by,

Memories

Photo credits to Wai Kit.

This brings back memories, sweet and sour alike. I was a prefect with the post of Team Leader, right under the top 3 division heads of the Operation Wing. Frankly, our prefect team is more like a combat battalion. We have special squads that take care of certain areas of the school, special units for spying, we even do marching, we have blazers, like the blue coat shown in the pic, with the stars and badges to indicate ranking, we also have patrolling team and a special subforce called the Secretariat Department which deals with matters like students' merit-demerit, files of offenses and rules violations etc. We also do subcontracted jobs from teachers and coordinate events like sports day, teacher's day etc. We are even divided into Operational and Core Organization. Operational is for duty and "field work" while the latter is dealing with paper work. The Operation wing divided in military style - Alpha, Bravo and Charlie Divisions, with Team Leaders accountable to them. Each Team Leader has 2 Squads led by a Squad Leader. Sounds like an army right? Hahaha...

Really treasure those days. I will never forget the days when we were on-call for duty even in the middle of a class. Putting on the blazer, marching out in files, fuiyoh, that experience is sooo one and only. I know many of my friends in Utar HATES prefects. But being a prefect teaches me a lot in time management, manpower management, behavioural analysis and "psycho-wars".

Once a prefect, always a prefect. That, is also portrayed in me when I am the course rep of my course.


Composed by,

My Funny Mum

Everyone's mother has their own unique side, besides the usual strict, demanding and "nagging" (no offense, mothers) side. My mother has a funny side. Let's look at some examples:

Scenario #1:
Mum : minjin (this is how my mum, dad and Joanne Hew call me), you are doing homework upstairs ah?
Me : Yeaaahhhhhh..... (dragging tone)
Mum : It is very hot upstairs. Remember to switch on the hall in the ventilation fan ah!
Me : Okaaayyy.... uh WHAT?! Hall in the ventilation fan?!
Mum : Yea, ei, no, I mean ventilation fan in the hall...
Me : Swt~

Scenario #2:
While driving out of Jusco in my hometown after paying the parking ticket at the automated ticket payment terminal, we came to the exit point where an automated lift arm barrier was recently installed)

Figure 1: This is a lift arm barrier, in case you didn't know.

Mum : Where's the receipt? (the receipt, as usual, is dispensed when you've paid the ticket at the terminal)
Me : Nah... over here.
Mum : (slotting the receipt into the machine and waits for the automated lift arm barrier to be lifted)

Then the arm lifted. BUT mum still wouldn't drive.
Me : Erm, mi ah, why don't you drive through ah?
Mum : Har? I am waiting for the receipt ah.
Me : Aiyoooo... after you slot in the parking receipt then you can go liao. What's the point for the machine to accept the receipt and REGENERATE a new one?! Swt~
Mum : Ei yahor...

Scenario #3
It was last year's Earth Hour night and the switch-off was taking place. I rang my mum up to check out whether she was echoing the call of Earth Hour to switch off the electricity.

Me : Mi ah, today Earth Hour oh. You know that right?
Mum : Yea.
Me : My place is all dark adi. Yours leh?
Mum : Our place ah, I dunno why the lights still on woh...
Me : (Confused) Huh, then switch off la.
Mum : (More confused than me) No woh, the authority hasn't switch off the lights yet.
Me : Swt... you have to switch off the lights YOURSELF la... The authority so free to switch off your lights meh. Haha....
Mum : Ya meh. Hahahahaha.... true oso hor.

This year's Earth Hour:

Me : Mi ah, this time you OFF the lights yourself adi hor?
Mum : Haha, yea la. Kena once still don't remember meh...

Yup, that's my mum, people.

So what's your mum like when she's not the usual way?

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So it's Monday all over again...

Aaahhhhhhh...... It's Monday and it's a whole new week - means have to wake up before the moon is down.

Sleep-late + wake-up-early regimen is sucking every pint of energy from the already fragile body of mine. But thinking of being able to laugh at conversations, chatting with friends, sneering/perli-ing friends (sorry ying chian, for couldn't help but to "bully" you. But you know la, I never mean to be so, well, mean. You know I am good to you, most of the time.) keeps me moving on.

Just trying to appreciate the people around me whenever I could. You never know what is going to come the next minute.

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New, but weird

As a science student whose interest lies in biology, I couldn't help but to be fascinated by the bizarre creatures previously unknown to the world. Here are some examples that can keep you in awe:

1. Ghost slug

Or, taxonomically known as Selenochlamys ysbryda, the ghost slug - so called due to its glowing white colour - doesn't haunt any thing but snacks on earthworm. "Ysbryda" originates from ysbryd which means "ghost" in Welsh.

2. Lungless frog

Having the scientific name of Barbourula kalimantanensis, from the species epithet "kalimantanensis", we know that this fella inhabits the pristine forest of the Borneo island. Unlike its cousins, this guy only breathes using solely its damp skin. No kidding. No lungs at all.

3. Photosynthetic slug

So you say animals cannot make their own food, huh? Guess what, this sluggish example will beat the slug out of you. How it gets the chloroplast you asked? This little fella takes up chloroplasts from the algae it consumes. It doesn't stop there. Part of the genome of the algae is being incorporated into the DNA of this green Elysia chlorotica as well. Geez, when this guy steals, it strips you naked down to the genes.

4. Unusually twisted snail

Snails usually have their, well, normal way of twisting their carapace in no more than 3 axes. Sounds like I am speaking German to you? Never mind. This particular snail, called Opisthostoma vermiculum, is only found in a particular, confined karst region (I am not speaking Indian, revise your geography about limestone caves) in Gunung Rapat, Perak. Its shell twists in 4 axes. Very unusual.

5. Palm that flowers to death

What do you think of this: When you are at the peak of your life and right after that you are gone (touch wood)? This huge palm tree will flower heavily right before the end of its life. The flowers of this Tahina spectabilis are the upper part of the palm as shown in the picture.

6. Extremophile

Think archaea that live in hotsprings and hydrothermal vents are extreme? What about these fellas that live in the unthinkable environment of a hairspray? The next time you use the spray, think of Microbacterium hatanonis.

7. Fish with transparent head


Macropinna microstoma has a transparent head that is filled with fluid Its bright green eyes often stare upwards unless a prey has been detected. This guy is about 15 cm in length.

Images and description retrieved from http://www.newscientist.com/gallery/new-species/1

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Are you living the right way?

Every person born into this world is destined to carry a burden - whether he/she wants it or not. This is because we are socially-interdependent beings. Quit complaining about the burden - the burden is a constant, the variable is you. The burden has no fault, the problem is in you.

If you were a leader of any sort, you are inevitably entrusted with responsibilities - far more than the rest of the group. However, the burden's weight is not your concern, it is the strength of your shoulders that bear the burden that matters most. Start working on your shoulders, not working your mouth by grumbling over the burden.

Nevertheless, there will be a time where the weight is beyond the human limit - you just can't do it alone. If it comes to that, request for a friendly, trustworthy pair of shoulders to share the weight. Don't complain about the incompetency of your partner, it is your fault to choose a person that is incapable. Every time you point your index finger at others to blame, remember 3 more fingers of the same hand is pointing back towards you.

This world is not shape to suit you. You have to shape yourself to meld with the world. This planet doesn't revolve around you. The earlier you realize that, the better your life quality.

To the rest of you who prefers or remains as followers, please put yourself in the shoes of the leader. Empathize. The fact that most of you are in the comfort zone is due to the hard work where the leader has put in to get all the ruffled feathers and treacherous waves soothed, sorted and smoothed. Be thankful, stop complaining. If you want improvements, make constructive arguments instead of just a blunt "no" and followed by a string of annoying complaints that don't help the situation even a bit, except to irritate the leader further.

Be grateful. The reason that your life is still meaningful - a slight bit or truly - is partly due to the effort of the people around you, aside from your own actions.

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Ranting and Raving

I am trying not to appear whiny or anything like that but seriously, last week spelled so much problems and tasks that I, for a moment, thought that I was in a world where "breaks" and "time-outs" don't exist.

Though currently in the final year, societal affairs are like heat-seeking missiles to us. Till now, I am involved in about 3 activities, and still counting. I mean, WHERE, for the love of God, are the rest of other Utarians? First Aid? Sure the biotechs can do it. Ecofriendly? Sure, the biotechs can do it. Blah blah blah? Sure, go seek out the biotechs coz they can do everything (note the tone of sarcasm). Really need to head-hunt for more leaders-to-be. Our telomere caps will soon run out of length otherwise. Unless you can administer telomerase in capsules, which is, by the way, unfeasible and unrealistic.

Another thing that boils my head is the elective subject. Last week, we waited for 15 minutes in the sauna-turn-lecture-hall for the "much awaited" lecturer along with other courses. Fed up, I paid a visit at the office with the class rep. So, a course rep + a class rep embarked on a journey of "The Hunt of the Lecturer". We mentioned our "plight" to the officer and guess what? We were asked whether we attended the right lecture slot, were we seeking the right lecturer, how many other courses and could we name some of them that attended the same subject... I mean, do you really think we didn't check those through already??? And what are the odds for more than 1 course to be attending the wrong slot for a wrong subject at the same time? We should really considering enlisting "common sense" as one of the pre-requisite subjects nowadays.

After ploughing through all those nonsense, a call was made to seek confirmation. And what did we get? -- The lecturer happened to be 2-hour-drive away in Kampar. Unless she was a "kage bunshin no jutsu" user (Naruto fans should know these), or had abilities of Hiro Nakamura (Heroes fans should know him) or could emulate Daphne Millbrook's speed (again, Heroes fans should know her), I didn't see how was our lecture was going to be taught. The lecture was canceled and that piece of news landed on our fellow classmates with gasps, aghast, disbelief, bewilderment, uncertainty, dissatisfaction, oh well, name all the negative adjectives you have in mind.

All bad things aside, actually we also had a good time. Our Instrumental lecturer is very nice and apt at quoting anecdotes and analogies; our Phytochemistry lecturer is very energetic and charismatic; our Molecular Cloning lecturer is, well, still our good ol' Dr "T" who couldn't help but to emphasise his points with a generous serving of "K's" (short of "okay/OK"). Overall, this semester has less tests and reports. That means more assignments, people, we don't get to rest.

For our class, I am glad that it stays very much the same as it was last semester - not many left except for a couple or two. To the rest of us, welcome to Year 3 and happy surviving it.

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Camaraderie Reverie

Finally, I am back at Setapak. Back in Ipoh spells "no decent Internet connection". So, this blog was left as fallows. This post is dedicated for reminiscence - my high school and still best friend, Tan-Loh Joash. Known each other since primary 3 and have been doing interesting and "interesting" (these two noun qualifiers are NOT the same, as implied by the quotations on the second) stuffs together. He is associated with many nicknames, most of which he detests. To exemplify that, he is called "Tan-Loh", "Tan- Loyau ("buttocks/backside in cantonese")", "Joshua" etc.

When we were in for an English challenge, he is a pro in grammar while I am apt at vocab (if you are reading this, Joash, don't try to argue. I beat you in spelling bee, mwahahahaha). Anyway, enough with the words. Let the pixels and colours do the talking. But before that, buckle your seat belts, because you are in for a time-flight in a chronosphere. Set the time to 4 years back......

This was taken when we were in the innocent age of Form 5. And yea, we were prefects. He was the head boy. For those who thought I am good academically, try prying into his CV. Don't get all too flattered, friend. Well, for those who might hold interest on him in any way, look out for his recent photo shots at his galleries. Of course, prior to that, you need to add him.

Sorry, Zi Ying, I am not posting any motivational or spiritual stuff this time round. Maybe the next post? :P

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Afterthoughts

The days on our back are tainted with several sad moments. Some are disappointment, some are hopelessness. Others are frustration and desperation all blend in one. Here is something for you to chew on if you are feeling that way:

......[W]e don't look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening up new doors & doing new things, because we're curious... And curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.

- Walt Disney

Our past serves as a guiding beacon but it is our forward-thinking drives us forward. Without the latter, our past is nothing but a pool of murky water that reflects the bygones. Think ahead. Think for novelties. That's what moves us forward.

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